laurenrocks's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a rock and a hard place the dude sitting next to me in the liberry (yes, i'm aware that it's spelled "library", this is a simpson's reference, thank you) keeps looking over at my monitor. i'm gonna womp on his ass. no. he's a big black guy. he'd probably hit me back. i've been talking to mark on AIM for about an hour and a half. he's so eager and determined to be with me, and i just want him to take a step back and stop emotionally suffocating me. i know he loves me and wants to be with me, i know i know i know. but i'm not ready nor am i willing to be with him yet. yes, it might have something to do with brian. but god forbid i have a boyfriend who actually spends time with me and takes me out and introduces me to his friends. who has clear and attainable goals. he has a good (not to mention cute as hell) head on his shoulders, and i need someone like that. i'm not saying this thing with brian and myself will last forever, but i wouldn't mind it lasting for awhile. it's only been like, two weeks since we 'officially' started dating, and i'd really like to see where this thing goes. i need to get mark to understand that it'll happen for us someday if it's meant to happen, and that i just need some space. that just because he's ready for a commitment with me now, that i've filled my commitment with someone else, and he'll just have to wait. does any of this make sense? shouldn't being surrounded by all this love make me feel happy all the time? you'd think so, wouldn't you... 11:25 a.m. - 09.10.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- disappear dammit mark. don't come into my life and out and back again. 10:07 a.m. - 09.10.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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