laurenrocks's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- living on a prayer "It's been eating me up inside lately. By that I mean my feelings for you I'm at this point where I want to be with you and I feel ready to do whatever it takes to get to that ... I'm not sure what I have to do to get to that point but I am willing to try. Your such an amazing person it's hard to think about not having you around I don't want to lose you again I'd move to Montana if you wanted me to I'd do anything i love you kick ass plus 10 your the sunshine of my eye your my ying to my yang your my nikki sixx to my Tommy lee...(lol) you mean a lot to me Lauren i miss you and i love you. but i guess i just want to know where I stand with you and how things are going or where there going." i miss you and love you too, mark. and now i don't know what to do. i want to date brian. there's stability in that, in him, and i like it a lot. he has a permament address, a permanent phone number. and if i can't get ahold of him, i know how to reach at least five other people who can. mark is not ready to be in a relationship with me. yes, i love him, but i can't be in a relationship with someone that i never see. that never takes me anywhere, or comes and picks me up and whatnot. for fuck's sake, i don't even know where he is right now. and that bothers me. i'm not ready to be with mark. i'm not ready to break up with brian. it's been only two weeks, but it's been a great two weeks. he's a great guy and i don't want to hurt him because some other guy is "ready" to be with me. mark doesn't know what it means to be in a relationship. not one of this magnitude. but then again, neither do i. 10:22 a.m. - 09.09.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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