laurenrocks's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- giddy up apparently, i can't trust brian. i mean, he deserves my trust, but i don't trust him. and i don't know why. well, i know why. casey, my friend who introduced me to brian, is over in brian's dorm with another one of her female friends, along with a few of brian's suitemates. they are going to watch a movie and be all happy and cozy while i'm stuck over here. more importantly, brian likes casey. yes, he LIKES her. how can i not worry? he told me he wasn't going to do anything because he was with me and he likes me blah blah blah i hate relationships. casey would NEVER go out with brian, she told me so and she even told brian this. i'm still going to blame this on my period. he apologized to me for whatever he said to make me upset, and i know he meant it. he likes me. this is fucking childish, no? it just sucks to be so far away. i'm going to see brian after i get off work tomorrow, and then kevin, brian's suitemate, and brian and i are going to casey's to play pool. it should be fun, but right now all i want is some attention from brian. UNDIVIDED attention. he's always playing on the computer when we're on the phone, or he's online, or he's talking to his roommate. he's a sweet guy, i guess i'm just really needy. and mark and i are meeting for breakfast saturday morning. he was trying to get here today, and he was pretty close, and then he went in the opposite direction of where i told him to go, and he got lost. and by the time he got lost, it was too late for him to come over. i was disappointed but not surprised. besides, it was probably a good idea that i didn't see him today because i haven't seen brian in a few days and i'm feeling kinda sad and mopey, and i know the quickest way to remedy those feelings and i know that wouldn't have been the right thing to do. i hate relationships. i wish i could break up with brian and go back to being friends with benefits. but i really like him and i want to be his girlfriend. once my stupid hormones get back to normal, i'll be fine. i told brian that we should blame it on my period. he agreed. this entry was pure shit. the purest shit this side o' the mississippi. or something. fuck it. 11:04 p.m. - 09.04.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||