laurenrocks's Diaryland Diary

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i am fate's bitch.

the craft store called me today and offered me a cashier job that pays $7 an hour with a 25 cent raise after sixty days. did i take the job? you fucking bet i did. i start training on tuesday. i just need to call the cookie place and tell them that, uh, what exactly should i tell them? i received a better offer? that baking cookies for mall patrons is my idea of hell? i'll figure out something good to say. i'm smart.

mark called me today. i'm a sucker for that guy. and i know it. he knows about brian, so he's jealous, but it doesn't stop him from telling me how much he loves me, and how he hopes that someday he can give me everything i've ever wanted. i told him that he and i will be together someday, and that it'll happen when we're BOTH ready. i truly and honestly believe this. but until that day comes, i'm going to have fun. and date. and mark knows it. and it's something he will need to deal with. he told me that i make him want to be a better person. that he is striving to be as smart and mature and "normal" as me. that i inspire him to make something of himself. no one has ever said that to me before. he said that he doesn't deserve me. sometimes i think i'm the one who is undeserving of so much love. we both need to grow up.

11:18 p.m. - 08.31.03

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