laurenrocks's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- right on i don't like staying up late. i need to stop doing this. notice the time of the entry. that's ridiculous, no? my date with kevin was fine; he's a cool guy with good intentions and some weird quirks that were almost cute. almost. he isn't a good kisser and i'm thinking he isn't worth training. i don't know if i want to see him again. he asked me to sleep over, and i declined. he is a virgin (AND a marine... yeah, weird combo, but whatever), so he made it clear that he wasn't interested in having sex, but i still declined his invitation. he seemed shocked by it, either because he thought the date was going well, or because most girls don't turn him down. or both. or neither. i didn't kiss or hug him when i left. i really didn't even say goodbye. i didn't mean to leave in such a hurry, but i guess in a way, i did. was i running from him because he was coming off as desperate? or needy? or clingy? and then i thought- but i do some of the things that he did... i call often, e-mail often, and i invite some dates to stay over... i ran from kevin just like some of my dates run from me. his obvious interest in me was somewhat of a turnoff. why can't i like guys who like me? why do i have to like the ones who won't even give me the time of day? i can't decide what to do about kevin. i think i'll call him or talk to him online tomorrow. i don't want to leave him hanging, wondering how i thought the date went, and what-not. maybe by then i'll know whether or not a second date will occur. he's really cool to talk to, especially when it comes to music. but once i move to my dad's, the distance will be a large threat to any relationship we might have. so that's just another thought to throw into the pot. i want pizza. like, now. i'm supposed to go to mesquite tomorrow and fill out applications. i'm going to do it, i just don't think i'll make it out there until about three in the afternoon. look at the time, for fuck's sake!! for fuck's sake... the sake of fuck? oh whatever. i need sleep. 3:01 a.m. - 08.18.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||